bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I need to calm my uterus...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
