remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
