just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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