i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
God I need to hump something, right now.
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