My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think I am morally bankrupt
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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