Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I currently don't understand fingers.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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