I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
