then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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