Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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