Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
