in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
he fucked my hip out of place.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
