ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
