My brain says no but my pants say off.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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