He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I will be naked everywhere
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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