3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
