You're a womanizer and a bitch.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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