Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i now understand why vodka
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
