She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
