just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you will always have a special place in my vag
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
