I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
