my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
