why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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