I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
