Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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