She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
