do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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