Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
