every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
