I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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