all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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