all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
3 2 1 whiskey
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
