guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
