I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
