There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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