Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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