Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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