I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
