I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
