I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
