You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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