my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My cat gives me a boner
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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