So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
