If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I believe in your delicious
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
