it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
