quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
