is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
