Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I got chris browned last night
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
