I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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