I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
