She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Man, jail baloney is awful.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
