can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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