Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
