now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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