I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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