So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
