hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Dicks are not precious.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
