fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My feet surprised me
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