Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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