She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I want her autograph on my taint
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
