That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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