I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
