So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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