There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
