I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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